The Adventures of PokeRuto!
by milady.otaku
Summary: Pokemon plus Naruto equals Fail. Pokemon plus Naruto plus Otaku Authoress equals Uber fail. It's okay. We can Uber fail together.
1. Chapter 1

"Onee-chan! Wake up, one-chan! How can you sleep at a time like this?!" Hanabi enthusiastically pulled her sister out of bed before the Hyuuga could show signs of consciousness. "Onee-chan! Come on! I'm getting my first Pokémon today!" The Hyuuga heiress slowly blinked her eyes, a small yawn escaping her lips.

"Oh, Hanabi. Happy birthday. You turn ten today, don't you?" Hinata smiled at her younger sister's enthusiasm, even as the shy fifteen year old was being dragged around the halls of the main house in her pajamas. "So, when are you going to see Tsunade-sama at the Hokage tower?"

"You're kidding, right?" Hanabi screeched to a stop, causing the tired Hinata to trip over her own feet. 'You know Tsunade-sama only has _boring_ Pokémon. I'm getting one from Jiraiya!"

_I'm getting one from Jiraiya!_

The older Hyuuga's eye twitched violently as she dropped her knees to be at Hanabi's level. "Imouto-chan," she began, her voice and eyes desperately pleading. "Please, Imouto-chan, _please_ don't do that. Follow the right, _legal_ path. Imouto-chan, this is my only request! I _implore_ you, go to Tsunade-sama for your first Pokémon! Please, Imouto-chan! Please!"

"Hinata-chan! What are you doing?!" The male voice snapped her to attention, causing her to release the tight grip she had on her sister. It seems that during her little _episode_, she took it upon herself to try and shake the delinquent thought from her spoor sister's head. As Hanabi took deep breaths and backed away, the Hyuuga heiress slowly turned her head.

"N-Naruto-kun…? What are you doing here?" Hinata blushed slightly as she slowly rose from her spot on the ground.

"Did you forget, Hinata-chan? We have a mission today!" The blonde cheerfully responded, pumping a fist in the air.

"We said that we'd pick you up today, remember?" The heiress ;laughed nervously as a third voice entered the conversation.

"Gomen Sasuke-san, Naruto-kun. I forgot." She sheepishly replied, once again giving into the urge to tap her forefingers together.

"It's fine, Hinata-chan! But are you going in _that?_ I know it must be comfortable and all, but…" Confused, the kunoichi followed the blonde's line of vision, realizing exactly what _that_ was. Blushing violently, the heiress darted past the pair, reaching her room before they could comment anymore on her childish Pikachu print pajamas.

xXx

"Oh wow! It's such a nice day! A great day to start a mission!" Hinata smiled as her childish teammate walked ahead, chatting away about his excitement. _He's right, though. It _is_ a nice day. _ The Hyuuga absently smiled as she began to daydream. _This is just like the day I got my first Pokémon…_

"What are you thinking about?" Hinata snapped to attention as Sasuke spoke out, subsequently letting out a startled, 'huh?!' "What. Are. You. Thinking. About?" The raven haired male asked again, this time articulating every word.

"Oh, right. Sorry, I was just thinking about the day I got my first Pokémon."

"Oh! OH! I remember the first day I got _mine!" _Naruto interjected. "Okay, so there I was, ten years old, sitting in my room at three in the morning waiting for daylight. I looked constantly at the weather forecast, and was super stoked when it said sunny!"

"Did you seriously wait up all night just so you could get your Pokémon, dobe?"

"NO INTURRUPTIONS!" The blonde yelled, waving his hands in the air. "Anyway, there I was, slowly awaiting daybreak, when all of a sudden…!" It stayed quiet for a few moments, both the Hyuuga and the Uchiha not getting the hint to ask him to continue. After mumbling something about them sucking, Naruto continued his story. "All of a sudden, I blacked out!" The blonde didn't notice the looks he got from his teammates ((Hinata's one of genuine worry and Sasuke's one of genuine 'you're an idiot.')) "Anyway, when I came to, not only was it almost the next day, but it was raining! So there I was, running through Konoha like a madman in my pajamas. When I finally got to the hokage's tower, though, the doors were locked!"

"I remember that." Sasuke interjected with a smirk. "I walked by you, and you looked like you were about to cry."

"Damn straight! You would have, too, if you were me! Anyway, after the teme left, I started to run back home, you know, so I can cry by myself, when all of a sudden I ran into Iruka-sensei! He said he'd been looking for me all day, and before I could respond, he pulled out a pokeball! You should have seen my face, Hinata-chan! I was so happy!" Reaching into his ninja pack, Naruto pulled out a pokeball covered in stickers. "Yep, that's how I got this guy. Of course he was only a little Pidgey, then"

"Oh, so Pidgey was your first? I guess that makes sense, seeing as how you use him all the time." Hinata smiled gently, a small giggle emerging. 'He must love you a lot."

"Actually, he always tries to peck the dobe every time he's let out. If anything, I'd say he hates him."

"Not true, teme! He loves me! And I love him!" Naruto shouted, getting ready to attack Sasuke at the quickly retorted 801 joke. Trying to change the subject, Hinata quickly intervened.

"My first Pokémon was an Eevee." The boys turned their attention to the blushing Hyuuga as she pulled out a pokeball with a water seal. "Um, well, I remember waking up at my normal time because I forgot it was my birthday, and for a winter day it was pretty warm…Um, well, my father called me into his study…Um…it's tradition for every Hyuuga to start up with an Eevee, so…" As the heiress trailed off, the Uchiha and the Kitsune tried to fight back a blush. So what if Hinata sucked at telling stories? She was damned cute doing it! "Um, what about you, Sasuke-san?" This instantly caused a noisy reaction in the blonde.

"Yeah! YEAH! What was it? I bet it was something super manly, cuz that's how the Uchiha's roll, right?!"

"Since Sasuke-san is an Uchiha, it was probably a fire type, right?" Hinata interjected innocently, but unfortunately only fueled Naruto's comments.

"A super manly fire type?! Uhhh, a Moltres! A Heatran!"

"But those are both legendaries, Naruto-kun."

"Oh right then…Uhhh, a Camerupt! A Magcargo!"

"Those are both evolved forms, Naruto-kun."

"Right, I got it! It was-"

"Vulpix." Sasuke's short answer caused ultimate shock in the blonde, and he could hear him yell, 'But that's not manly at all!' as he continued walking.

xXx

**A/N: **Taadaa!!!! Chapter one complete! Maybe it's the prologue??? Oh well. If any of you are curious, instead of Kyuubi, Naruto is possessed by an angry Ninetails . Ahaha, right right. This corresponds with Sinnoh region, so if you wanna know who your favorite character will be, just ask :D


	2. Chapter 2

PokeRuto 2

The Uchiha immediately felt the slight pressure upon his abdomen, which in turn caused his eyes to shoot open from yet another dreamless sleep. He tensed noticeably as he craned his neck to inspect the breathing mass on his stomach, catching a glimpse of a worried Kyuubi gazing back at him.

Fortunately for him, it wasn't the dobe.

Furrowing his brow, the Uchiha lifted his calloused hand to lightly graze the soft white fur of his companion since the age of ten, earning him a soft mewl in approval. "How'd you get out of your ball?" he voiced softly, relaxing against the hard ground once again. It had been three days since his team had departed from Konoha, yet the Hokage's words were still fresh in his mind.

_"This world had become a fucking mess, and it's only common knowledge that a group of adolescent children can save it."_

Or maybe that was the sake talking?

Their mission seemed simple in theory; they were to seek out and destroy Team Galactic, ignore Team Rocket as per usual, and finally, kick the asses of all the gym leaders in the region ((as well as the illustrious Elite Four who, in his expert opinion, were incredibly overrated )). That proved to be more a challenge than he would have hoped, though, as they were now stuck in the Eterna Forest with absolutely no leads.

_"Perhaps if we d-defeated a Gym Leader first...-"_

_"They'll notice our über pwnage and come out of their hiding spot!"_

He had to admit, Naruto sure had a unique way of wording things- usually people would use _real_ words and not risk the chance of people seeing them as the idiots they are, but since Naruto seemed oblivious to the whole concept of _'normalcy'_...

"Oi! Teme! Wake up already!" And just when he was getting comfortable... The Ninetails on Sasuke's lap lifted its head in the direction of the annoying racket from outside his tent, seemingly ready to attack the all-to-familiar blonde when the Uchiha's hand once again began to stroke his companion. Staying silent, he bid his Pokemon to rise as he reluctantly exited the tent, only to see a sight he had never expected to come across in his life.

"D-Dobe..." Even Sasuke couldn't hide his shock as he pressed his next question. "W-What the hell...?!"

xXx

Hinata had left the two early before the sun rose, using her Byakugan to make positively sure that they were in fact sleeping. She didn't want to be a bother, after all; she only wanted to take a quick bath before making breakfast.

Sprinting through the lush foliage, she couldn't help but to reflect on the words the Hokage gave her before they left: _"Hinata-You're not a little girl anymore. Those idiots there- I bet they haven't had contact with a real woman before. If they try anything funny, threaten to rip it off, okay?"_

Hinata remembered smelling the sake radiating from the blondes breath and the obvious slurring of her warning, but in all her knowledge of the opposite gender the heiress could not figure out the _it_ the Godaime was talking about. Deep in thought trying to decipher the mysterious message, the blunette hardly noticed the clearing that she darted through, and only stopped when she slammed headfirst into a door.

"I-Itai...!" The young girl whimpered, rubbing the bump already forming on her head gently. "Ow, how did this door get here...?" _Wait. A door?_ Taking a few moments to process her situation, her eyes suddenly brightened as a smile spread across her face. "This could be our first lead! I have to tell the others!"

Running back the way she came ((faster than before due to her overwhelming excitement)), the Hyuuga quickly found her team and her makeshift camp. "Naruto-kun! Sasuke-san!" She called before they were in complete view. "I found-!"

Her heart almost stopped at the sight she was forced to behold. The Hyuuga froze in her tracks, her face instantly paling as she subconsciously held her breath. She couldn't help herself as darkness quickly overtook her, leaving her to collapse on the forest floor.

xXx

Naruto couldn't understand what was wrong with his team mates- he figured they'd be used to his childish antics by now.

The morning started normal- he woke up, got dressed, and went through his morning routine ((like brushing his teeth and combing his hair- but in all truth it was only because there was a lady present)). Sasuke was still sleeping at this point and when the blonde called out for Hinata she was nowhere to be found. In his ultimate boredom, Naruto clumsily made his way out of the tent he shared with Sasuke ((unbeknownst to the blonde, he kicked over the avenger's bag causing all his poke balls to roll out)).

Naruto was really bored.

At first he sat by the remains of their campfire the previous night. Then after he got tired of that, he took a quick walk around the forest. Noticing that he was lost, he let out his Pidgeot to lead him back to the camp, but the bird only proceeded in attacking his master to the point where he had to jump into the nearest tent possible.

Naruto was bored and in a lot of pain.

"Damn stupid bird..." He cursed softly, securing the entrance to the tent- until he realized it wasn't his. Just one quick sniff and he could instantly smell slight traces of lavender. _Oh crap! This is Hinata's tent! _Instead of doing the right thing and leaving immediately, however, the kitsune let out a mischievous smirk. "I'm sure they'll laugh at this..." Snickering darkly, Naruto dug through Hinata's pack, pulling out certain garments not meant for public viewing. Making quick hand signs, the Kyuubi container yelled, "Sexy no jutsu," instantly transforming into his female self. Slipping on the underwear, the blonde darted out of the heiress' tent- "Oi, teme! Wake up already!" He yelled excitedly. Just as the Uchiha exited the tent, though, a familiar voice reached the blondes ears.

"Naruto-kun! Sasuke-san! I found-!"

Silence. A thump was heard. The choked reply of Sasuke escaped his mouth.

Naruto was sexy.

xXx

Yep. That's all for now.


End file.
